Dear 20-somethings

I was afraid this day would come and apparently it has. I feel alone and betrayed but I have a bigger God than these feelings. I know that my life and my circumstances have changed in drastic ways and that I am not the same girl who walked through the doors at Trinity church two years ago. I have made many friends and several acquaintances in the last two years. I hope and pray that the friendships are solid and will stay even if I am absent from the group.

One of the things that I have said since becoming a mother is that I will never apologize for my son being a baby. Attempting to coat the request with he is cute doesn't take away the fact that in telling me that he is not welcome to worship with me, I am no longer welcome either. I do not take him to the nursery on Sunday mornings and I will not. I am not the kind of mother who needs to be apart from him to worship God. I am saddened that there are people who feel that a baby will hinder their worship.

When Jacob was 2 weeks old I went to church for the first time in nearly 2 months and I prayed and I cried. I fell at an open altar and I laid my son down and I said "Lord he is yours. I give him to you" The pastor laid a hand on me and asked about my son. "He's not mine anymore...I gave him away." Tears fell down my pastor's cheek as he said to me..."You know the minute you placed Jacob in God's arms...He held him back out to you and said...Alicia please take MY son and love him...teach him to know me and to love others. This child is mine and I am entrusting him to you." I take that commitment so very seriously.

When Jacob was two months old, I made that commitment public. Many of you stood and supported me in the commitment to raise my son in a manner that will teach him of the everlasting LOVE of God. Part of that commitment that I made is that I promised to raise him in a way that will teach him of the love of God. I don't think there is any better way to do that then to let him see and experience that first hand. He is a child, an infant and at this point in his life a nursery experience will not benefit him. Seeing me and being close to me while I worship, will give him comfort and allow him the chance to watch the lifelong foundation of faith.

I will not attend a church that prints in their bulletin that children should be in children's church or in the nursery. Crying babies or laughing babies should not take away from any worship experience but enhance it. It is not natural to take an infant away from his/her mother. Our society has things very backwards. I have to be away from him Monday through Friday from 8-3 for work. I refuse to allow any more time taken from my child in what he needs. Right now he needs me. Will this change…someday…but that someday won't change how it feels right now being asked to worship away from my son.

Matthew 19:13-14 states: Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

I know that 20-somethings as a ministry is growing and changing and I pray that you can reach many in need and love them and nurture them. Your new ministry, however, has failed me and now I am going to walk away. I cherish the friends I have made. My faith is unfaltering and this decision was not made lightly.

God Bless. Alicia