When I'm a Mother...

I've been doing a lot of de-cluttering and cleaning.  As I sorted through a box of books and things I found an old Mead single subject notebook.

This was written on the back of the notebook.

When I'm a Mother...Thoughts and actions that I want to remember, things my parents do right, things my parents have done wrong, and things I have thought of.

I smiled looking back at this book I held in my hands.  I remember the rage and anger.  I remember the angst and desire for a better relationship with my parents.  I remember feeling so frustrated that I couldn't be friends with my parents.  I remember pulling this notebook out of the drawer and starting this journal.  I smiled, as I re-read what I had written, grateful to the 17 year old me who loved my kids so completely even though I did not yet know them.  Here's a glimpse into the brain of this crazy little girl who grew up to become the mother I am today.

January 11, 1997

When I'm a Mother...  I will try to always tell my children what they are being punished for.  "Because I said so" will not be sufficient unless extreme clauses. 

I want all my children to have practice driving in snow with me or my spouse because they'll have to do it someday and I'd like them not to have to learn alone.

A mother and a father's blessing each night. Time with each child and a prayer.

Family devotions. A time of prayer and Bible reading. Short to encourage private time with God.at least once a month.

"Dates" with parents at least once a month. "Date" ideas lunch at fast food; a trip to the park; a trip to the mall; a nature walk; and so on. - Time to talk, to trust.

I want to be awake and up when my children get up for school and send them off or take them after a good breakfast.

January 16, 1997

I want to be an active part of my children's school -- Help volunteer, chaperone, and help with homework.

An after school snack.

A set time for dinner.

Set chores -- who does what and the consequences for not doing their part.

I want to make my children's lunches or if they want to buy and the family has the money then the money necessary.

I want my children to receive periodic "I love you" gifts whether and inexpensive thing from the store or preferably homemade.

I want to write love letters to my children from the day I find out I am pregnant to their first day of school.

I do not want to snap at my children just because I'm frustrated. All it will do is cause hard feelings.

I agree when I get married and have sex that, this man and our children are more important to me than me. I want to be there for them when they need me and I will find personal time apart from the time they need.

I want to be a good Christian role model for my kids at ALL times.

Simple, remedial tasks can be made into a game to make them learn the habit, or get the job done. ie set belt race to see who can get theirs buckled first.

December 7, 1998
I want to always "hire" Christian babysitters so that my children are in the care and have Christ as a role model.

If I have a girl, I want my husband and I to give her a diamond ring on her 16th birthday, a promise ring.

I want to start bank accounts for my children from birth, putting in at least their age a month "allowance" and in the beginning, if I can afford it more.

December 25, 1998
Christmas traditions of my own and my family
1. Each person may open one small gift on Christmas Eve.
2. Christmas Day begins with either reading or reciting the Christmas story.
3. no tree, I want all of our gifts brought to the manger to remember why we are celebrating.
4. A red envelope gift for "grandpa" (my Dad) from our family of a $ gift to a charity.

How fun and neat to compare the Mama I am to the mother I thought I wanted to be. I see so much that has not changed, and many things that have. But I am blessed that I get to live my dream. The only thing I ever wanted in all my life to be when I grew up was a mama. I love who I am and who I am becoming every day!