Dimming my Light??

"When you dim your light so someone else can shine...the whole world becomes a darker place"

I heard this quote this week and I am trying to figure out if I truly agree with it or not. You see I have done this...and often. I lived the majority of my childhood with my light dimmed so that I could keep friends and family close. Did I darken the world by not doing the best I could possibly do.

Bible quizzing was not a part of my life when I was growing up...it was my life. School was secondary even to this life goal I had. I would spend hours and hours memorizing and recalling scripture. That in itself was an amazing prize. I remember one quiz...my first year that i participated. I was so eager and excited to be a part of this family affair. My older sister was one of the best quizzers in the district...how I admired her with hints of jealousy even. We started the year at a quiz in Galesburg. I was so excited. Most of the quizzes that we went to were team quizzes and as a team we were great. But this quiz was different. It was an individual competition. I was so afraid. I had never done anything like this. Sure I had studied...but not nearly as hard as my teammates. Somethings just came easy for me. So this quiz...I picked my questions, due to my knowledge and speed I was able to get many questions right and did very well. I placed individually above my sister. She was crushed. I could see it...I could feel it...it nearly killed me.

So that year, I did something that according to this quote 'darkened' the world.
I continually scored just under my sister so that she would beat me. I would count my points and make sure that I never had more than her. I would often wait for her to 'quiz out'. I never purposely errored or hurt the team in anyway....but I didn't want to see that in her face again...I didn't want to cause her pain.

So the question I have...did I darken the world by not shining at something I excelled at? I really don't think I agree with this quote, for my world....and the world of my family was a brighter place. My sister has been one of my best friends since I was in sixth grade and we started travelling together. By the time I was a freshman and she was a senior we were nearly inseparable and have been through so much together.

Honestly, I don't think I did...but maybe maybe it is my turn to shine...