Rollercoaster

I really want to write, but I don't know what to say.

Last sunday I went to Six Flags with Natalie and really experienced roller coasters for the first time in my life. I have been on roller coasters before, but compared to the rides at Six Flags they were like kiddie rides. Six Flags was really fun. In spite of the headaches and the over all neither of us felt all that well, it was a great day with Natalie. One of my favorite parts was sharing a funnel cake :) man that powdered sugar... *giggles* Anyway, Six Flags was fun. I am even considering taking a day off work to head back there for the Hallelujah Jubilee :) Newsboys will be there.

So the Rollercoaster experience was a new one and the scary part is it feels like emotionally I haven't gotten off. My emotions keep spinning in circles. The force of the motion keeps pressing me back against my seat so that it feels like I can't move or breathe. There were drops on the roller coaster that truly took your breath away, and I am there too. Times when I am so overwhelmed, or excited that breath is nearly impossible. I feel trapped sometimes against the back of my seat as the force of the movement holds me captive in my seat as I am plummeting through space and time to an unknown place. I would try to open my eyes and the force of the air rushing around me would force them shut. I think that my emotions are at the same place right now, I have my eyes closed. I am not sure how to open them. There is a great deal of trust in riding a roller coaster that the harnesses and saftey belts will hold you in your seat as you go racing around the tracks big dips, corkscrews, loops that turn you upside down. We trust that we will stay in our seats. There is alot of trust in emotional things as well. Trusting you with my thoughts, my feelings, that you won't hurt me....and that I won't hurt you.

Life is a rollercoaster. I am in for the ride of my life, but dang there are times I wish it would slow down just a little so that the experiences weren't flying by so fast and blurred.

Lord, help me to keep my eyes open through this rollercoaster ride I am on. I know that my life is in your hands and I trust the saftey harnesses on the ride that you provide. I am not getting off this ride because I know that you are in control. I don't want control of my life, I just want to understand where I am, who I am.