Un...

well.
Ugh. I'm not feeling so good. I kinda feel like I've been fighting the onset of this sickness for a few weeks now, but as soon as I finished my first week of school I spent the next two days barely leaving my bed. My nose is all stuffed up and my throat is stinking sore. I think I should have known that this was coming, because there is a very definite sign in my life that I am not feeling well and it's been around for a few weeks now...so yeah. I just hope that this is just a cold and I get over it quickly. Every fall since I can remember I have experienced a bout with bronchitis. It is soo not fun, and normally gets me so sick that I end up turning in one of those wonderful carbon copied papers at work that says my doctor WON'T LET me go. *arg* not looking forward to that happening this year. So rest and fluids and as little overworking myself as I can handle and still get my job done.

motivated.
I can't seem to find any motivation to get things done. The frustrating part in that is that it's things that I WANT to get done. I look around at how fast this year is passing me by and I know that before it is 2006 I have a list of a million things that I need to accomplish, but I just can't seem to find the motivation to get those things done. I know part of it is that I am not feeling well, and it's hard to get things done when I don't feel well, but it's also that it's just me here. I find much more motivation in doing things for other people than I do in doing them for myself. This trait gets me into trouble...a lot. I don't understand why when I value other so much that I will do nearly anything for them, WHY can't I find my own value. Why can't I see that I am just as much worth my time and effort as everyone else around me that I will do nearly anything for?

focused
I feel so scattered right now. Pieces of me all over the place. I need to take some time and energy to recollect all these missing pieces and put me back together. *problem is un#2 here though* I feel broken and misplaced, like I can't find where I belong. My life is spinning uncontrollably and I can't seem to find a way to see anything but the world blurring past me as I spin. No matter how hard I try, when I am focused on something it takes just seconds for something else to claim my attention. It has gotten so bad that the majority of the time I can't even remember what I had been doing when this new things so quickly pulled my attention away.