"What should i tell them? If they dont want to die remember to knock?"

What a movie...

I've seen this movie a million times and sometimes I wish I had better life stories so that I could do the things she did. As I watched the movie this afternoon again, I am reminded of how similar her teaching environment is to my own. The comment about the xerox machine made me chuckle because we often feel the same way at our school site when looking for things we need in our classrooms. My kids are dealing with some of the same issues and the visits home because of students not having phones or phone numbers listed happens often at my school.

For some reason the quote I used in the title has been stuck in my head this week. School started again. We are about to finish the second week of the school year and I struggle watching these kids. I know my kids aren't much different than the ones that LouAnne Johnson is describing in her story. I know my kids come from the same lifestyle and the same struggles, and I want to be a Miss J to them...I want to make a difference. I'm struggling because some of the more 'hurting' kids have quickly shown their true colors already in the first few days of school and the other teachers on my team can't wait to get them out of our classes. It breaks my heart. How is that loving our kids? Yes these boys are a handful and they don't always do things the way we ask them too...But are we killing them by pushing them out of our classes. Here we are a group of 5 teachers, 3 of whom I know without a shadow of a doubt believe in a God who is bigger than we are. Why aren't we trying to love our students instead of pushing them out of our classes as fast as we can.

Yes my boys are driving me insane when they interrupt my lessons to ask me questions about what time it is or how to do something. But I'm noticing more that they are asking HOW to do the assignment than the fact they are talking without permission. I don't want to ever be able to feel the pain that LouAnne felt as she said this to her principal. My kids lives are important to me.

There have been several things that stick out in my head and the biggest thing is how ultimately this teacher LOVED her kids.

I think I knew years ago that I would end up teaching kids who grew up on the wrong side of the block. I have a heart that is huge....but the pain...oh the pain.

I had my students do an activity the first week of school and one of the parts was to draw a wish or dream that they have. One of my students greatest wish was to be able to stay alive. He's not talking forever...he's just meaning now. My students should be able to reach, to dream, to grow, to imagine...and that's MY job. To provide those opportunities for him.

I aspire to be a teacher like Miss Johnson, not a man like Principal Grandy. I don't want to ever know that if I had just reached a little farther, or loved a little more that one of my students would have a life.

Lord, use me. Help me to love my kids the way they need to be loved to teach them that there is something worth living for.