I am overwhelmed. Need I say more. I have never truly been alone in my life until now. I mean from birth until I was 17, I lived with my parents. At 17, I moved out and got my own place, next door to my older sister. Shortly after that we combined our leases and moved in together. That lasted until I moved back home with my Dad, and went to college. Halfway through that I ran off and got married. We then lived with his parents for a year, then back to Dad's for a couple of years. Then back to his parents. Even in our marriage we were never on our own. Several months after I had my first career job, we moved into our first place that it was just the two of us. That was the closest to being alone I had ever been still living with others. Six months later he moved back into our old place at his parents, and I am truly alone for the first time.
It is an amazing feeling, but a scary one too. I am overwhelmed with work, and taking care of myself. I have been trying so hard to take care of me. It's been a long time since anyone has ever taken care of me. I am having trouble balancing everything. It is weird how hard it is to balance when it is just me.
I feel like I am being tested to see what I can handle. I wish I knew if I were passing the test.
James 1:2-4
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Lord, bring me through this current valley. Help me to keep my mind and my eyes focused on you in everything I do.
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