When friends walk away.

I feel like there must be something wrong with me. My so-called friends keep walking away. I have so few friends that stick around and remain so for a long time. It must be me. I mean, the first time it happened, I blamed it on the circumstances. I lived far away, time and distance. It made sense. But then it just keeps happening. No matter how much of me I put into a friendship all have eventually become distant memories. All but 2. I have my Tricia, and I have my Natalie, and I am pretty sure that no matter what happens I will always have them. Why? Because they have seen me and know me through this current storm. They know the before, the during, the after, and they still love me. I grieve the loss of my friends, but I am trying to not give up. I feel that the making of new friends is futile, they will eventually walk away from me too. Stop talking to me. Stop sharing with me. I will become a distant memory. I don't know if I want to keep investing myself into these 'so called friendships'. Is the joy in the moment worth the pain in the eventual fallout?