a story.

Once upon a time there was a young high school girl. She lived a strange kind of life, and many people noticed and commented on it. The kids at school could see that she was different and called her names, but she did not let that stop her. The people at church could see she was different and commended her for it, that made her feel like her childhood was really over. Her parents noticed to, but that relationship was already rough by this time. The difference in her was she focused her spare time and energy committing scriptures to memory, and trying to live a life that emulated that of Christ.

A family moved to town and began going to her church. One of the girls was the same age as she was and the two of them started hanging out. Both girls had younger sisters who also became fast friends at this time. Then something happened that caused great tension for all four of the friends. The younger of the sisters who had just moved became very close friends with our young high school girl. They soon became inseparable. The friendship amazed many and hurt both of their sisters. But through it all, they endured and became the best of friends. Shortly after this happened, an old friend entered the picture.

At a competition, our young high school girl was brought back in touch with an old childhood friend. They had spent much time together as kids, being two of the only kids in the church that they were attending at that time. But one had moved away, and left the other, and the memories never faded. Then when the two of them saw each other again, it was like the years were erased and the two quickly became friends again.

Then the group became three and there was no question that the friendships were not hurt by this turn of events. All through high school and through college, everyone knew that the three girls were friends, true friends, the kind of friendship nothing can change, or so they thought.

But then, our young girl became more and more of a woman. She met a boy, who swept her off her feet. He truly was from a land far, far away, and that scared all of the girls. The next summer she married him, and followed him home to his land. A land of never ending sunshine and new people.

The wedding was small, and intimate, not a big affair. The girl struggled and cried over who would stand with her. You see, she had three very close friends and two sisters. At first the plan was to have all five, but his friends were all still in his land, far, far away and some could not make it to the wedding. Having more girls than guys was not something he wanted, so she had to choose. The sisters were a given, although there have been ups and downs all throughout their lives, that love would never end, and sisters are forever. She choose them. Then there was one spot left. She realized if she choose her old childhood friend that her new best friend would be hurt, and also if she chose her new best friend, her old childhood friend would be hurt. So she asked a new girl, one neither of them knew, to stand next to her that day. This new girl was one she had met on one of her travels. You see, our young heroine, she never was happy to just stick around in the same spot for too long. The tension began with this choice that would end this amazing friendship.

That same summer, the old childhood friend also married her sweetheart, the only problem was her wedding was the Saturday after the other. The old childhood friend asked the girl to please be in her wedding. So after many discussions and tears later the decision was made. She would not miss it for the world. So instead of a honeymoon, the newlyweds drove up to the girl's hometown for the wedding. The dress she would wear was given to her at her wedding and did not fit exactly right, so one night of their honeymoon, the newlyweds stayed at her grandparent's house to get the dress altered. It was a difficult night.

After traveling and attempting to start a new life for less than a week, the newlyweds arrived at the church to attend the rehearsal. When they had arrived, just a few minutes late, the rehearsal had already begun. No one would look her in the eye. She saw her best friend and asked "What should I be doing?" Her best friend looked away and said "Ask her." So she sat in the back and watched like an outsider, until the bride-to-be finally came over. "What should I be doing?" she asked again. "Oh," was the response, "I cut you from the wedding." Tears were held in, and our young wife ran to the car. She picked up the dress that had been so lovingly altered, returned to the church and threw it at the bride-to-be. She then went to the car and left, followed by her new husband. They checked into a hotel, and she cried. Well, cried is really not a good word for it. Less than a week after her wedding, our new wife sobbed. Several hours later, she was able to compose herself. They went and bought the new couple a gift for the wedding. They wrapped it and the next day, they went to the wedding, sat in the back, and left when it was over. They handed off the gift to friends who were going to the reception, and went to start their new life.

One month later, the girl received an email from the other. "Why" she was asked, "did you not come to my reception? That hurt me very bad." At this point, the pain was unbearable, and the girl pushed the delete button.

A few years later, her best friend also was married, this time to the brother of the husband of the old childhood friend. They are family now, and bestest friends. An invitation was sent to the one who moved away, but it was received only a week before the wedding, and a plane ticket could not be found. She made the calls, occasionally to the old childhood friend. Even for a while it felt as though the friendship had been mended, but then one day, when something terrible had happened, she tried to call. The number had been disconnected, no forwarding number had been left. She had been 'forgotten' about, again.

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At 9:36 PM, *sara* said…
so, no matter how many times we apologize, the fact remains we never really fix the problem. In any event-know that you are deeply loved, and some of my best times were spent in VW's with you. I love you.

At 6:40 PM, kaspirant said...
Guess there has to be motivation to make an effort. When the hand is extended for so long and never taken up, one gets tired of holding it out... I love you.

At 2:00 AM, *sara* said…
I feel the same way. Maybe its the physical distance...Maybe its the crap we are afraid to let go of..in both directions...either way..maybe someday we'll get it right..

At 11:57 AM, kaspirant said...
/shrug...You two have each other. I doubt it will ever be right. You don't need me anymore. I'll always be the one that got away. The friend that introduced you to your bestest friend. kaspirant said (to totogirl)... Remember when we were talking to my mom about her friends from high school and how they lost touch. Remember how we said that wouldn't happen to us. I don't know you anymore and you seem ok with it. Are you?

At 9:47 AM, *sara* said…
Not really. If I was, I probably wouldn't bother even commenting about it. As I said, a lot has happened, we can hold on to it, and never get past it, or we can let go and keep trying.

At 1:03 PM, kaspirant said...
We can let it go. In fact, for me, it's gone. I love you and totogirl both. You both know it too. I moved away. I found a new life. The effort wasn't made to keep what we had intact. At first I didn't want to. I'll be honest. But you moved away too...and I had no way of reaching you. What was I supposed to think? There it is *sara* how I felt. What do you want me to do or say? You never even gave me a reason. I know that our lives aren't perfect....Haven't really even talked to totogirl since I moved away again. I guess I did something that you guys can't forgive me for. Sure wish I knew what it was. I'm tired, and when all this started happening, you asked others about me instead of coming to me. So do you want to know what really happened? Or are you satisfied hiding in the past?